“Power Rangers Zeo Sucks!”

This will be a random topic going up, down, sideways and inside any thing in the world. Let’s begin.

~~~~Comic Books~~~~

The Greeks have their myths, the British have the King Arthur stories, what does America have? Comic Books! Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Wonderwoman, these are the American myths. The embody the true American spirit that is gone these days. Maybe if people read the classic comics (before they got all freaky like Spiderman is a clone of John Madden and Wonderwoman is really a toad with female reproductive parts etc.) we could get some of the American spirit back and wouldn’t hate each other.

~~~~The London Bombings~~~~

As much as I dislike Tony Blair a.k.a Bush’s bitch, he’s really going about this the right way. Unlike the right wing Americans, he is not filling his people with fear that the man with the towel on his head will gouge his eyes out with a toothpick and use them as martini olives. He’s telling them to be a lert, but to live life as they have before. Notice none of them are going out and buying gas masks and ammunition.


So I watched Nickelodeon today for the first time in ages, a lil Squarepants to get my groove on, and I made some observations....

~~~~Spongebob~~~~~

I am absolutely sure there is some gay subtext in Spongebob. Even more importantly, it's not as on the surface as shows like Ren & Stimpy or Rockos Modern Life (ahh, who can forget when Mr. Bighead opens the door and sees Rocko, Filburt and Heifer playing a boardgame intitled "Spank the Monkey"). I wish someone would just release a straight to DVD (no pun intended) episode where Spongebob comes out of the closet. I mean PBS got yelled at for trying to air an episode of "Post Cards With Buster" (I think thats what it's called), an Arthur spin off, involving a family with 2 moms. This would really help with what I believe to be a Civil Rights battle for homosexuals. And It would be a big f-you to the "man" (whoever that may be).


~~~~Commericals~~~~

Ok, tell me if I'm wrong, but do all these commericials involving kids today have "perfect children". I'm tired of seeing 10 year olds with a bigger rack than Pam Anderson. 90% of the people who would spend all their lives watching Nick are not these perfect little beauties. We need some average people selling this shit. You want someone to sell Cheetos? Ditch the bulimic chick with the socks in her shirt and get a fat kid like me who really eats that fattening crap. I doubt these people have ever watched an episode of "Rugrats" in their life. They probably were watching MTV at 4 years old.


~~~~Worship Jamz~~~~

People wonder why there are so many atheists in the world. Just look at this. I saw a Nick commericial for a CD called Worship Jamz. Classic Worship songs such as "Lord, I lift Your Name On High" set to hip-hop backgrounds. Children aren't stoopid!! They understand when something is trying to be shoved down thier throat. Religion is a choice! You can't make anyone Christian, or Muslim or Jewish, or even Wicca! If someone forced me to be Christian, I wouldn't do it. But my parents give me a choice of religion, and I choose Christianity. Free will bitch (Dave Chappelle voice on)!! If your gonna make religious music, make it so people can understand stuff. Go pick up some Reliant K!!


End Nickelodeon Section


~~~~Chris Rock~~~~ (Politcally Correctness Absent Zone... N WORD USED!!)

Damn that is one funny nigga!! He has some of the best standup since George Carlin. From talking about the death of Tupac Shakur, to George Bush in the Paris Hilton sex tape, to talking about Rap (slap'em with yer dick lmfao) he just tells the truth. And you just gotta love his smile!

~~~ Pop Culture Refrences~~~~

So, I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory yesterday. People are such pains in the asses. "Inside Edition" is talking about Micheal Jackson being a similar character to Johnny Depp's Wonka (incredible actor) and it just bugs me. Shut Up!!!! Enjoy the movie!! They could make an allusion to Scott and Laci Peterson and I wouldn't give an Ooompa Loompas rear end!! It's a movie! A place to escape the crappyness of this world we live in. I don't care about current events when I see a kids movie. It's all bollocks!!!

Hope you enjoyed my rant.

....there's beauty in the breakdown....